The end of summer is upon us and that means back to school. Of course, having a house of two girls that are still in preschool means that things won't change much here, but it always seems like the new year to me. I still operate in school years even though I'm 32. August has always been a time of relaxation, anticipation and preparation for the upcoming year.
I remember being very young, maybe 1st or 2nd grade and being so very excited for school to start. The supplies and the new dress that mom would always make were always lying there just waiting for that first day. It was always a time of stress also. We lived on a tight budget growing up and it always seemed that the beginning of school caused extra stress around the house. I remember all of these things so vividly.
Growing up, I loved school. I still do. I didn't love school for school. I loved the learning. I wasn't the smartest by a long shot and I even remember misspelling tomato in the third grade spelling bee and having Mrs. Batko correct me. It was awful. My parents always said that I never really had to study, but that wasn't true. School was had. I was lucky enough to squeak by and actually make good grades. Doing this hurt me in undergrad, but I learned how to learn, eventually, and finished grad school with a very nice GPA. I'm still not the "smart one" or the one you want to ask if you need you paper proofread, but I'm ok with that.
Now onto not loving school. Man, school was rough. I was socially awkward. I didn't have a ton of friends. I wore my mom's t-shirts that were way too big, and I had hand me down Rustler jeans from my brother. I remember often being made fun of for the car my mom drove, my clothes, my boy haircut and for my small chest and skinny, long arms. Kids are mean. I really think that I scared me as a child, but I also grew from those moments. I really think that it taught me to not judge and to love those that may not have anyone else to love them. I always seem to attract other awkward individuals and I think that's why.
I don't know why I am documenting all of this, but I want my girls to look back and see that it's not just them being made fun of or having a difficult time learning something new. Because I know that they will encounter both of these things. I want them to know that they will survive and life will go on. I want them to know even when times get rough that they have parents and family that are there to support and love them. I want them to love that awkward little girl with the buck teeth, short hair and misfit jeans. I want them to be friends with the person that if having a hard time learning or the one that is having trouble at home. I want them to know that they have a God that loves them and that they should show that love to others.
So, as I spend the last year with my girls before Wesley starts school I have a few hopes and prayers:
-I want to show my girls love like God shows us
-I want show them that it's ok to fail and that you can learn from it
-I want to show them that laughing can really make things better
-I want to let them know that it's ok to cry and move on
-I want them to know they have parents that support them, yet will discipline them to no end
-I want them to be confident, but not egotistical
-I want them to know that they can't do it alone. Everyone will tell them that women have power and women can do it all, but I think that it takes a village. It takes God and it takes a supportive family/circle of friends
-I also want to show them that kindness and manners matter.
There is probably more, but that's all I can think of for now. I just rambled for a good 20 minutes in my head, but I wanted to get these crazy thoughts out of my head on on the screen to keep for them:)